LIFE...MINE

So, here we go. Ok, so I HAVE to get this typed out. I just lit a candle in my studio in a Hollywood Hills house, with a match book that says where I work in Beverly Hills. It just dawned on me how crazy, lucky and out of whack my life is, as I am trying my hardest to get it to where I want it. Well, my friends, it evidently ain't up to me.

So to just tip the iceberg, a few months ago I was trying to find an apartment in Santa Monica, which is ridiculous on the cash part. I STILL am...don't you worry. Anyway, So I start to save massive amounts of money. I had it. So here is why.

1. Dental. I had needed a root canal and crown, then I was flossing, and a filling popped out. Now I had to go.

2. Car. My tags. I needed to renew my registration. And well, take care of what my momma gave me and thank God for what I have.

3. New place to live.

So, I go to the dentist, and try to get a filling put back in. He says, "Eh, I don't want to. It's gonna have to be replaced. Your insurance changed." (Beverly Hills dentist only want money...not to help) ALL I NEED is a replacement filling to live. But NO. I walked out laughing.

Now, we get to the car part...&&^^&*(*&^$%$^%#$!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyway, so I go and TRY to get my shite taken care of. They say I need to go to another place to get it checked for smog. I did. It failed 50 bucks later. So I go BACK to them to fix it. They say come in on Monday next week. I bring it in. AND this is what I heard when I took my key off the chain to leave it with a trustworthy auto wizard..."Man, I don't even want to mess with it. There's no telling what is causing the problem. It's really confusing." QUOTE UN-FU**ING QUOTE. So, I laughed and went to work asking my Hispanic friends, who ROCK, if they knew anyone. NOTHING. I don't speak Spanish. So now I asked some co-workers if they knew of anyone. I got answers. NOW we are getting somewhere. Calls are being made at this moment. Stand by...

NOW, today, on my day off from a 50 hour work week, which I am lucky to have and proud to say these days, I go to the DMV. I show up, give her my story, my paper work, WILLING to pay whatever, only to hear this..."You're better off just dodgin' the PO-lice". SSSSSSSSSSSSsooooo....off to the beach I went. Smirk, dazed eyes and expired tags.

I saved all this money for people who want money from people to NOT except it?? WOW. OK, well, here we go.

AAAAAAAAAAAND this is a great selling point...for THIS guy to move to Santa Monica...
I get home after a hard days work. Open the gate, and there are still dudes with no shirts in the garage working. It's been a week if that SHIT for me to come home to. THEN, I meet my new neighbor, who is in a Superman T-shirt, a fake cowboy hat singing at the top of his lungs in a horrible death threatening voice of some song. So, I just get my running outfit on. (shorts and a T-shirt) So I go for a GREAT night run in the Hollywood Hills. I get back, and there is SOMETHING...a THING. As I open the gate I hear, "who are you"? I answer, "I live here, what are you?" And IT, with it's long manly fake horse hair, has a f**king COOKIE MONSTER T-SHIRT on. IT tries to shake my hand, and I hit IT'S hand with my keys. I then quickly scatter to my studio.

SANTA MONICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

It was so hot in L.A. I went to the beach to run. I can't WAIT to move there. But I also can't ignore where I was a year ago, and ignore where I would place myself when I moved here. BACK to the matches. I work on a rooftop pool in Beverly Hills, and am living at the TOP of the Hollywood Hills, typing this. Yes, life is a bitch. (Mine? Well, it's a life on Mars I think, and I'd be bored if it was anything else...I think. All I know is that the winds blew those sweet ocean air breezes my way, and I will call that place home very soon.)

"No matter where you are, there is always an up. If not, look right"

APTS

So, I'm looking for apartments. I see these pictures of apartments with huge trees in the entire picture. Are you selling trees or apartments? Second of all, wow. What a view. Who in the F--K wants to look out and see leaves and branches all day? Are you hoping to rent to old people to just sit and stare waiting for it to just up and move? What about winter? It's a bunch of sticks just blocking your view to...I don't know, a nice view of...something else? And let's not forget about those pesky birds chirping as you wake up hungover. What a nightmare. For me, it's either a case of beer in the morning with a BB gun, or move the stupid tree into a forrest where it belongs. Like that of an animal. Humans are so cruel.

When things can't get any worse, they can get better. When things can't get any better, they can get worse. Stay in the middle.

-ME