My one year curse. The curse of L.A. according to ME.

Ok, so...when I decided to take off, and take the plunge into LALA land (L.A.) I had a good friend drive out with me. Chip. I was gonna drive my Ford Ranger out here that probably wouldn't have made it, but my loving mother got me a Honda Accord. (where would I be without my loving family) So, I loaded it up, picked Chip up, went to Cracker Barrel and got a "Cracker Barrel" road map (where all the Cracker Barrels are on the way) and actually got to CA by this means of paper direction. YES, we had NOT a road map, but a Cracker Barrel map. We drove through a few places that I could live the rest of my life without ever seeing, but, they were in the way. And we were driving. So I had to see these places due to me driving and having to use my eyes.

So, we get to New Mexico...

We pulled over on Route 66, at a Phillips 66, at gas pump 6. A drunk Indian asked for money. I gave him some cookies my mom gave me for the trip. I prepayed, came out and the cookies were on the trash can. As I looked around for the closest moving car to push him in front of, he vanished. The cookies stayed.

So after this, we drove WAY down the road to find a place to sleep for the night. I didn't want to see my iMac or tires on a trash can.

We get to CA, and it was awesome! The desert, the storm rolling in (mind you I'm a storm chaser and there was NO rain until, we hit California. Odd.) Anyway, we get to a place in the desert. A gas station and coffee shop. Like, a cool real coffee shop...IN THE DESERT. Miles away from anyting. Like, 50 miles. Do they live there? Coffee and gas. That's their diet.

Upon arrival in Los Angeles, we came to a place that was beautiful, vibrant, city strong and nice. I loved it. AND I MET TERESA'S SISTER. Unfortunately, this wasn't downtown "L.A." or Hollywood. It was Westwood. I asked, well, "Where is Hollywood"? He says, "Oh we'll be there shortly."

We left Westwood. We then entered...HOLLYWOOD. I swear it on my life, welcome to the jungle started playing. It was nerve racking. It was shocking, it was dirty, it was...breathtaking. I felt alive. Palm trees, homeless people and traffic. Ahhhh...

I made it to one of my best friends apt. (Ronnie) where I slept on the floor for three months. He was a friend from Nashville. I quickly got lost in the city and found my way. And when I took chip to the airport, I saw my first police chase, in the next lane, on my first day...on the 101.

So, getting my first apt was amazing. Me and Columbus. It was a dream come true to have our own place. 2 bedroom with parking. As I got settled, I (getting more wine...HOLD) o.k. now for just points about my years here...I don't feel like writing a book yet...

1. After getting my first apt, then getting my first gig as the lead in a Stained music video, I awoke to not just mine, but both me and my roommate's cars being stolen. Had to walk to the police station.

2. They didn't believe me.

3. I walked back and called my landlord. They didn't speak English and I'm sure they still don't.

4. The cops believed me at 6 p.m.

5. I got a rental car. WAIT, they only had mini vans. So I took the battle ship on wheels.

6. I popped the rear tire 30 min later pulling into work.

7. Fixed it, drove it back, only to hear they ONLY had mini vans left. So I took it.

8. Moving out, a week later, I was driving around looking for apartments. As I was looking, the right lane turned into a parking lane. TOTALED a parked car. Got out and laid in the grass for a bit.

9. Took the van back.

10. Got ANOTHER mini FREAKING VAN!

11. Found a studio. The landlord met me, threw ALL of the other applications in the trash can. Said it was mine before I even signed. (Thanks Mrs. Merrel!) btw...that was the only one I saw. 1 in a MILLION chances in L.A.

12. Waited on my old apartment floor until 2 p.m. The next Monday. She finally called and said it was all mine.

13. Got a call from the LAPD saying they found my car, the night before insurance (what a joke) was gonna pay me for my loss. They said "Brace yourself".

14. Saw my car? A 19 year old girl had stolen and lived in my car for 2 weeks. She also turned it into a racing car. Put her Cd's in my CD cases, hung her stuff on the rear view mirror, had teddy bears, all her belongings, meth bags and much much more in the car, put a V-6 decal on the gas tank, racing matts, racing steering wheel cover, USC (imagine that) stickers all in it, other stolen Honda emblems glued all in and over it (as if the factory ones didn't suffice), drew pictures, dented it, and an array of delightful stuff that I want to run her over with her mobile v-6 dream home.

15. Insurance kinda paid to get it fixed, but they left the posh decals in and on it, and her stuff in it. What did they do? Wash it I think. By this time I just wanted my car...or a car. Losers. "Wha...derrr derrrr derrrrr...duhhhh, We're sorry Mr. We thought that the teddy bears, straws cut in half, women's clothes 9 times your size, burned Cd's with misspelled words and other car emblems half way hanging on by a dot of glue were yours." IDIOTS.

16. W.W.I.D. (what would I do?)
Answer: Have an auction at work and auction ALL of her stuff off. I made $16.75
If I sold her soul I'd probably be negative in my account. My momma bought me that car! You don't touch what momma got me! Steal from ME! Not my momma!

16.5 Starved for a long time. Had no clue what I was going to do.

17. I'm done for tonight. That's just the tip of ONE of the ice bergs.

18. Read 17.

(If you want to do something, DO IT. Mountains were made to me reshaped.)